This novel is free for the next 24 hours. I’ve included the back-story again for those
who didn’t catch it when it was posted on 5/29/13.
PANAMA PERTINATE
Driving in Panama
Dangerous is the one word description for driving in
Panama. Although the roads are decent
for the most part as compared to Costa Rica, they are substandard when compared
to those of North America. The rules are
different as well. I believe one of the
most foolish decisions a person can make is to fly to Panama City, rent a car
at the Tocumen airport, and set out for Boquete in Chiriquí province 450 Km
away. The idea -- so one can get a
‘‘feel for the land’. More than likely they will get ‘THE FEEL’ of a ticket or
two, an accident, and perhaps a few weeks in a Panamanian jail if they hit
someone.
Another danger is to you and your vehicle each time you fill
your tank. If it’s after hours, there’s
better than average chance someone is watching the service station and will rob
you and the attendant at the same time.
Thieves prey on gas stations because the cash is carried by the
attendants. A gringo with a plump wallet is ripe for a ‘two fer’.
The other danger at the pumps is bad fuel. I recently went through a myriad of problems
because my old car wouldn’t run on MUD.
What’s up with that? German engineering can’t
design a diesel engine that runs on mud (lodo)? Three
weeks, two mechanics, four total tank flushes, sixteen fuel filters, and I’m
still not able to pull a grade because of the fouled fuel residing somewhere in
my fuel system.
All in all, driving is crazy in Panama. Most gringos have dash cameras to avoid being
prosecuted for murder if they run over a small kid or get hit at night by a car
with no headlights. The gringo is always
arrested and charged in a fatality; that’s JUST THE WAY IT IS!
So, my word of advice. If
you are visiting; hire a tour guide, a chauffeur, or take public
transportation. If you’re planning on
living in Panama, take the precautions necessary to avoid getting killed in an
accident or arrested for being involved in a collision.
THE LAST
FRUIT STAND ON GUAM
BACK-STORY
In the late 1980’s I was on a long voyage into the South
Pacific. I moored my boat for over three months in Guam to avoid being out in
the open ocean during typhoon season. I had lived on Guam back in the early
1960’s and received most of my University education at the College of
Guam.(back then it was an affiliate of Ohio State University) I passed through the island several times
transiting to and from Vietnam and the Philippines a few years later.
When I arrived in the late 1980’s the sleepy little island I had
experienced in 1960-1963 was no longer. It had been invaded by the Japanese.
(again) In twenty-five years, the
Japanese had recaptured the island by purchasing the beach-front real estate
and building high-rise hotels and resorts.
I was appalled at first and then humored after I looked more
closely. The Guamanian culture had changed drastically. What was once a
laid-back Polynesian lifestyle was only evident in some of the villages in the
countryside and a long way away from the hub of Agana. Many of the land owners had become
millionaires. Their huts near the
beaches were selling at downtown New York prices. Everyone had jumped on the
‘tourist’ bandwagon.
The tourists were predictably humorous, too. Since Guam was the
closest tropical “foreign island” to Japan, the younger generations flocked to
the US possession by the thousands. On
any given week-day the tourist population from Japan usually numbered almost
sixty thousand people. The guys wanted
to shoot guns, eat steak and partake of the ‘pay-as-you-go-lust’. Massage parlors were located on every corner
and in most strip malls near Tumon Bay.
The young Japanese women wanted to shop, spend time on the
beaches, and sample the men; any men except the Japanese men. It’s true.
I’ve never seen so many horny tourists in my entire life.
My eighteen year old son, who normally repelled women like a
puddle of fresh puke, was able to get laid more than once. Of course he fell love right off and whined
like a puppy when his Japanese squeeze climbed on a plane and flew back to her
boyfriend and job in Tokyo. It took him
a month to ‘get it’ and by then I was ready to continue our voyage. Mother
Nature interrupted my plans; the late arrival of a typhoon that came close to
our route south; so I waited another 30 days to get shed of Guam.
I finished the outline and began the novel, THE LAST FRUIT STAND
ON GUAM, while waiting for my son to play out his string with the Japanese
chicks. As it turned out this sexual anomaly was the only opportunity my boy
had at ‘swinging’. He returned to the ‘puddle of puke’.
When I’d lived on the island in the early 60’s, I survived one
of the island’s worst typhoons in history.
In the fall of 1962, typhoon Karen devastated the island. There was considerable loss of life, the
entire infrastructure was down for months, and many people went crazy.
One had to be ‘off’ a bit just to survive the small island’s
quirks. Sane people were soon sent over
the bank. Being confined to a piece of
dirt only thirty miles long and six miles wide at the widest part made for
interesting character adjustments.
I have to admit when I first arrived on Guam, I was spooked with
the knowing I was trapped on a small island.
I borrowed my dad’s car and circumvented the island. I made one lap in less time than it took me
to pass security at the Naval base. It gave me the heebe jeebies. I didn’t go
ding-bat crazy but the knowledge of how small the land mass was -- gave me
pause and certain claustrophobic tendencies.
I immediately enrolled in the University, got involved in scuba diving
and created a salvage business. Those
activities plus the exotic women – diversions – probably kept me somewhat sane.
The people I witnessed coming to the island in the late 1980’s
were suffering the same malady or worse; instant insanity. This mental condition, referred to as Island
Fever, is prevalent in many Hawaiian communities as well. On Guam, however it reaches an acute stage
when it’s coupled with a natural disaster; like a typhoon or a tsunami. I know I experienced it! (Sustaining winds of
180 knots with gusts to 250 knots) I witnessed firsthand how some people react
when faced with danger of imminent death. I didn’t like what I saw for the most
part. People I had held in high esteem acted
cowardly and petty when the danger was near.
Other’’s who didn’t seem the type, rose to the challenges at hand and
‘glared back at the face of death’. I
was fortunate to be included in the second category.
I
started outlining and writing THE LAST FRUIT STAND ON GUAM while on the island
and during our journey. I had to set it
aside on and off and finally finished the first draft two years later while
commercial fishing in Alaska. It’s a big book – 102,000 words; pared down from
the original 160,000. It’s racy, bawdy, irreverent, and laced with dark
humor. A lot happens during the few
weeks chronicled by the novel. I hope you enjoy THE LAST FRUIT STAND ON
GUAM.
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